Dearest Constellation

Nature abhors a straight line.

I had originally planned a trip into the Alvord Desert in far southeast Oregon to gather the last bit of material for Cantrip and Loveletter. However, impassable roads and a dearth of campsites pushed me in other directions. I traded my beloved aspens for ponderosa pines and meadows of oxeyes in the lonely Malheur forest and my playa for the hoodoos and painted hills of the high desert.

I suppose it’s fitting. Being wrapped in a mental and emotional limbo, it felt right to diverted from my plans and wander in the wilderness a bit, uncertain of where I would land. But with a bag of camera gear and a full iPod, I could go anywhere.

I had hoped also to catch the last of the recent Camelopardalids meteor shower and practice my night sky photography a bit more. Alas, no meteors were left for me. But I found, while standing in the cold and dark waiting for very long exposures, that I was far more interested in trying to capture the stars through the trees than the straightforward sky.

 

Breathe out so I can breathe you in breathe you in…

Let’s swim to the moon, let’s climb through the tide
Surrender to the waiting worlds that lap against our sides…

Starry, starry night, paint your palette blue and gray
look out on a summer’s day with eyes that know the darkness in my soul…

 

I wish I could please you tonight, but my medicine just won’t come right
I’m walking on a wire and I’m falling…

Pack up all my cares and woes,
there I go, singing low,
bye bye black bird…

Give me love, give me love,
give me peace on earth
give me light, give me life
keep me free as a bird…

If you miss the train I’m on
you will know that I am gone
you can hear the whistle blow
five hundred miles…

Because I’m still in love with you
I wanna see you dance again
because I’m still in love with you
on this harvest moon…

So I’ll love what you become,
and forget the reckless things we’ve done…

Ceased to resist, giving my goodbye
drive my car into the ocean
you’ll think I’m dead but I’ll sail away…

All your life to think of what a mess you made
dig a hole in the ground for your wedding ring
rainmaker call, throw your hammer down
and everything that I know can’t remember now…

If there’s something inside that you wanna say
say it out loud it’ll be okay
I will be your light, I will be your light…

How does it feel, to be on your own, no direction home
Like a complete unknown, like a rolling stone…

I don’t want to doubt you, know everything about you,
I don’t want to sit across the table from you wishing I could run…

You were my mad little lover
in a world where everybody fucks everybody else over
You are so far from me, far from me…

But remember when I moved in you, and the holy dove was moving too
and every breath we drew was hallelujah…

Mother do you think they’ll drop the bomb?
Mother do you think they’ll like this song?
Mother do you think they’ll try to break my balls?
Mother should I build the wall?

I’ll never be your beast of burden
so lets go home and draw the curtains
music on the radio
come on baby make sweet love to me…

I’ll push the wood, I’ll blaze your fire
then I’ll satisfy your heart’s desire…

This lightning storm
this tidal wave
this avalanche I’m not afraid
come on come on no one can see me cry…

Two lovers kissing over the screams of midnight,
two lovers missing the tranquilityof solitude…

Fuck sunrise, you can forget sunset, I wanna see the sun in the middle of the sky
cause the dawn and the dying light have gathered too much meaning and I want to feel numb,
There must be there must be there must be there must be something else
we haven’t found on this long strange ride…

Your sorry eyes they cut through the bone
they make it hard to leave you alone,
leave you here wearing your wounds
waving your guns at somebody new…

I don’t know but I’ve been told
never slow down, you never get old
tired of screwing up, tired of going down
tired of myself and tired of this town…

No one will be watching us,
why don’t we do it in the road?

Out on the roads that lie before me now
there are some turns where I will spin,
I only hope that you can hold me now
’til I gain control again…

This is the second of three planned trips this year, so stay tuned…

On the iPod:
Virginia Moon, Foo Fighters; Everlong, Foo Fighters; Moonlight Drive, The Doors; Starry Night, Don McLean; Walking on a Wire, Richard and Linda Thompson; Bye Bye Blackbird, Traditional; Give Me Love, George Harrison; Five Hundred Miles, Peter, Paul, and Mary; Harvest Moon, Neil Young; Falling Away With You, Muse; Wave of Mutilation, Pixies; Dilly, Band of Horses; Dry the Rain, Beta Band; Like a Rolling Stone, Bob Dylan; Love You Madly, Cake; Far From Me, Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds; Hallelujah, Jeff Buckley; Mother, Pink Floyd; Beast of Burden, Rolling Stones; Stir It Up, Bob Marley; Imitation of Life, REM; That’s Entertainment, The Jam; Long Ride, The Audreys; Lost Cause, Beck; Mary Jane’s Last Dance, Tom Petty; Why Don’t We Do It in the Road, Beatles; ‘Til I Gain Control Again, This Mortal Coil